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A Confession: Part II

May 16, 2011

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About a week after the art exhibit started at Pacific Northern Academy, Ms. Jaeger invited Ethan and me to model for Kyra’s class.

“Are you sure my terrible two is going to stay still for the class?”  I asked Ms. Jaeger.

“Don’t worry.  It will be fine.”

I leaned in close so only she could hear me, “So, do Kindergarteners know how to sketch from live models?”  Note:  I’m asking a teacher that had fifth graders create artwork for the film, Everybody Loves Whales, and seventh graders design four 54-piece dish sets and two tea sets with ceramic artist Ade Waworuntu.

“Oh yes, light and shadow on a live person is the best way to learn how to draw for artists just starting out.   Plus,” she peered at me over her glasses, “there’s something about a living being that reverberates.”

I could see what Ms. Jaeger meant.  Just as we sat down in the center of fourteen Kindergartener artists, Ethan stood on my lap, threw both arms into the air, and sprang off my thighs shouting, “I’m Buzz Lightyear!”

The Kindergarteners giggled hysterically.  “Ethan,” they cheered.  Some of them clapped and chalk dust flew from their little hands.

Ethan tossed his Buzz toy at his audience and three of them retrieved it for him.

Always the crowd pleaser, Ethan, then twisted in my arms as if he were ending a complex salsa routine and dipped dramatically across my lap.  He closed his eyes and threw his arms and head back toward the ground for a final flare.

Meanwhile, I watched nervously as some of the Kindergarteners, who had already started to sketch him in the Superhero flying stance, frowned.

But Ms. Jaeger reassured me, “Moving models are a fun challenge for artists.”

And she was right.  Catherine recovered by turning her paper upside down after she finished Ethan’s figure.

Charlie concentrated on designing his own outfit for Ethan and making sure Buzz appeared firmly in his hand.

Emily gave me extra long eyelashes and captured my earrings perfectly.

The twins, Mark and Sierra, imagined Ethan and me in their own fantastical world.

Hannah focused on Ethan’s face, taking extra time to blend in his hair by rubbing tissue paper over her brown chalk lines.  When she noticed me peeking, she said proudly, “My mommy taught me how to draw.”

My chest tightened when I heard that.  Her mother was an artist too, who told me she never taught Hannah how to draw either.  She simply had a lot of art materials lying around the house and Hannah enjoyed watching her work.  Lilly and Maya’s mother, who used to be an art teacher agreed, “Yes, sometimes, I’ll just throw down a tarp outside and let my girls go wild with paint.”

Lilly confidently accessorized my persona on her page.   She gave me fancy pants and a figure I wish I had.

Her twin, Maya, had entirely different aesthetics.

“Go wild with paint” sounded messy to me and it was something I’ve never tried, but with school ending next week I made a mental note to take my art supplies down from the top shelf of my closet and make them more accessible to my kids.

Fortunately, Kyra and Ethan seemed to be born with plenty of swagger.  “Look what I did!” Kyra waved her rendition of Ethan an inch from my nose.

“That’s me,” Ethan said, beaming at his sister.

“That’s my DeeDee,” Kyra said.  With the back of her hand, she brushed her hair from her forehead and a red streak appeared like an exclamation point.

“It’s beautiful,” I praised Kyra.  After that, every Kindergartener excitedly presented their artwork to me for flattery.  Ms. Jaeger told me that every child is an artist.  She said, “Encouragement is all kids need to be creative because when they get older inevitably they will have a habit of being self-critical.”

In truth, the Kindergarteners learned quite a deal this year.  They worked on the elements of design: line, shape, value, texture, overlapping, modeling, linear, aerial, and color perspective. They experimented with pencil, charcoal, chalk pastels, india ink, tempera, acrylic paint, printmaking, book arts, still life, landscape and figure drawing. They even explored clay techniques, creating an Alaskan Animals Tile Table.

In addition, they taught me a great deal too.  Armed with fourteen masterpieces, I went home that day dazzled by these passionate confident five and six year olds.  Most importantly, they reminded me to throw self-criticism to the wind.

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Sunrise @agadafolegandros adult only retreat. Each Sunrise @agadafolegandros adult only retreat. Each brittle greenstone (buried deep in Earth, subjected to intense high pressure, low temperature subduction, then brutally pushed back to the surface) is warmed up by the sun.  If you quiet the thoughts in your head and hold your breath, you might be able to feel what Greeks call agria galini (wild peace): A rare physical silence described as an intense grounding stillness wrapped in a raw untamed elemental force. In this reel, excerpts from a livestream where you can listen to the “silence” and feel Folegandros’ energy!

See linked reel with sunset in previous Folegandros post
#agadafolegandros #greece #folegandrosisland #luxuryworldtraveler
At sunset, listen to the “sound of silence” @a At sunset, listen to the “sound of silence” @agadafolegandros —a bioclimatic architectural wonder harmonized with the island’s landscape. 

There are nine suites or villas each with own #infinitypool. The absense of motors running, people chatting, lawnmowers buzzing. And if you can be still enough, the birds (like the Common Linnets ? ) will visit. They like to bathe and sip fresh water from your pool.
 
Dont miss my exclusive interview about how #Agada was designed.
#greece #folegandrosisland #agadafolegandros
Chef @edmari_devarie introduced herself to me and Chef @edmari_devarie introduced herself to me and said she first read my work in @voguemagazine last May about #grieftravel . I was pleased to learn that my words helped her during a difficult time in her life. She messaged me:

“You were every bit as kind and warm in person as I imagined from your writing. I actually went back and reread your Vogue piece tonight, and something really unexpected happened: it hit me completely differently this time. When I first read it, I understood grief mostly as grieving people I had lost. Grandparents, aunts, people who were no longer here. I even thought about a trip my mom and I took to Alaska and how, in some ways, we found little pieces of ourselves again through that experience. But tonight I read your words from a completely different place in my life. I’m realizing that I’m grieving a lot more than people. I’m grieving my old self. I’m grieving friendships and chapters of my life that aren’t here anymore.

I’m grieving the person I used to be, even though I know I’m becoming someone new. And I’m grieving a life I thought I would have by now. [yes!! This is exactly how I feel. ]

Thank you for writing something that gave me a language for something I didn’t quite know how to name. And thank you for being so lovely tonight. I’m really glad I got to meet you.”

I received this gift in #jacksonhole after we ascended to 9,095 feet aboard the historic Bridger Gondola for dinner at @jacksonhole Piste Mtn Bistro.
 
We nearly had the whole place to ourselves due to a reservation glitch. The dining room spilled out onto a deck where we gathered briefly that morning before hiking down to our launch point. 

After placing our order, the sun set over the Tetons while the kids hiked up to the peak in their flipflops and skirts. I teared up thinking about how these moments when the 6 of us could explore national parks together were coming to an end.
Soaring air thermals is thrilling and terrifying. Soaring air thermals is thrilling and terrifying. You are a feather rising and falling, at the mercy of air deflected by the mountains and trees. A paraglider pilot determines whether an air thermal will reduce your descent or initiate a climb while you enjoy the raw feeling of engineless flight. A wobble here and there. Your heart skips a beat. Everything that you worried about disappears when the world looks so far away and you are flying side-by-side birds. 

This summer I was determined to tackle a #bucketlistadventure because I had no idea when my kids would lose interest in travelling with us. This is @kohadventures 21st summer, @ethanjsoh 18th, @rileyaustinoh 13th and @loganohrides 10th summer. Life continues to pull us apart. So knowing that I will be dropping off two kids at college soon, I asked them what was their number 1️⃣ bucketlistadventure ?
 
“Skydiving,” Kyra says. 

“Heliiboarding,” Riley says.
 
I surprised them with paragliding because since 2017 when I first experienced this sport in France, then Italy 2019, and Switzerland in 2022,  I have longed to share this w/my family.

#jacksonhole is ideal for #paragliding because a flat, low-lying valley is directly adjacent to ultra-steep, massive mountain ranges creating immediate massive altitude separation.  Plus advanced paragliders like the challenge of trying the “shot” (flying to @grandtetonnps) !

@jacksonholeparagliding not only has 30 years of experience with 60K safe tandem flights but owner Scott Harris one of the first to pioneer this sport, has pulled off a 6 hr flight in Columbia 2016. He orchestratend 6 paragliding pilots (one for each of us Riley = Dan Roof, Logan = Mike Bickley, Ethan =David Robinson, Kyra = @beaubach, me = Scott Harris, Thomas = Steve Marangi), one for the photographer @luke_gentry_photography and drone pilot @dangibeau.beinghuman …so at least 16 of us gathered at the top of Rendezvous Mtn. Steve and David were acro paragliders! They treated Thomas & Ethan to extreme paragliding tricks!! I was so jealous.

At 10,450 feet, we watched first Riley, then Logan, Ethan, and Kyra run off the mtn laughing. We looked at each other, eyes wide, thinking “What have we done?”
In this replay of a #liveinstagram story you’ll In this replay of a #liveinstagram story you’ll get a behind-the-scenes glimpse of what its like to travel with us. 
We are @yellowstonenps (my memoir opens here when I was 9 and our family got caught in a flash storm) and tomorrow we will drive to @glaciernps (where I worked the summer my mother died of the same disease that claimed my brother’s life the year before.). I share my encounter with park rangers at #yellowstonenps who told me that adults can earn a #juniorrangerbadge

Riley shares what it was like to paraglide !! Yes stay tuned for drone footage on that…
@mountainmodernjh is 10 miles from @grandtetonnps @mountainmodernjh is 10 miles from @grandtetonnps 12 miles from @jacksonhole and 55 miles from @yellowstonenps .

Arrived around 1am after driving 10 hrs it was extremely convenient to have a functional kitchen, two bathrooms, and the most comfortable sofa sleeper and king bed that I ever tried…the kind that makes you forget where you are and what you’re supposed to be doing. During ski season, guests have complimentary shuttle to Jackson Hole Mountain Resort @jacksonhole 

The best part was my youngest @loganohrides  figured out how to swim cheered on by her sister @rileyaustinoh and @k.o_adventures while dad recooperated from the long drive. 
#jacksonwy
#jacksonhole
#mountainmodern
#staywild
Sneak peak of a story Im working on about legalize Sneak peak of a story Im working on about legalized #psychadelicretreats.  This is one of the locations where @confluence.retreats operates in partnership with Omnia Group Ashland, a licensed-and-regulated Psilocybin Service Center, and Hi-U Foundation, a Nonprofit with the mission to steward high-quality transformational experiences using psilocybin in connection with the natural world. 

Thank you Myles Katz for sharing your thoughts about @9strangershulu and your extensive experience running safe research backed 3 and 5 day retreats.
A few months ago on Day 5 of my #awpeloponnese adv A few months ago on Day 5 of my #awpeloponnese adventure bad weather cancelled our kayak trip and @exploremessinia and @fotis.outdoors and @george__malamas surprised us with a hike to Voidokilia Beach, where #christophernolan filmed Athena apoearing to Telemachus (Odyssey’s son) in @theodysseymovie and #nestorscave where #odysseus and his crew search for food and shelter not knowing that Cyclops Polyphemus lives there.

#voidokiliabeach, an omega shaped beach, is designated a Natura 2000 site meaning no one is allowed to build anything here. No hotels or bathrooms. When I first saw the Ionian Sea crystal clear in hues of turquoise and emerald lapping against coarse white sand, I didnt hesistate. Just walked straight into the sea eager to imagine whats its like to first discover this place.

I never made the 20 minute hike to Nestor’s Cave because I got lost in photographing “mermaid’s hair” or green macroalgae. Its unique to this ecosystem of warm calm stagnant brackish water and accelerated photosynthesis due to the intense Mediterranean sun. 

Walking towards the middle of the omega shaped bay, the sea shallow enough that I didn't have to swim, I couldn't help dipping my toes into the mysterious black squishy floor. Now that I know its decomposing seagrass. Ewww!! Low oxygen levels and the calm Ionian Sea accelerates the decomposition into a gelatinous mud layer. A sign of a healthy marine ecosystem!

If you cant make it to Greece, watch the first film in history shot entirely in 70mm imax (only 25 theaters in US) meaning larger frame and higher resolution. Thats what Im doing Sunday.

Drone credit and photos: @sub_images @rick.slash
Happy Father’s Day to Thomas and all the men who Happy Father’s Day to Thomas and all the men who show their kids how to support the dreams of your loved ones.

In my recent 10 day #awpeloponnese expedition, I spent Mothers Day hiking along the trail to Cape Tainaron, rumored to be the Gates of Hades. Long long ago, people came here to ask the souls of the dead predictions of the future.

I didnt speak to my mom who passed away 33 yrs ago as much as explore the karst topography through my camera lens like she would’ve and dipped my feet into cold choppy merge between the Ionian Sea and Aegean Sea and ran my fingers over the fragile-looking limestone pocketed with deadly sinkholes and jagged plates embedded with marble and flint stones.

I felt guilty that @rileyaustinoh dad had to help her pack for her first 3 day backpacking trip. I facetimed Riley when @ethanjsoh picked her up from the trailhead. She had bandaids all over her legs which she showed me like badges of courage. I could see tears well in her eyes despite her tough attitude. 

Other moms like @jenreynolds1982 that I travelled with also facetimed their kids ! We shared tips on how we travel w/o our kids (and why its important for us to connect with the person we were before becoming a wife and mother.)

😍FaceTime whenever you get service so the kids feel like they got to see the destination.

📸photograph wonders of the world or anything they can talk about at school

🎣bring home something handmade from the destination (regalia, jewelry, hair accessories, mosaic, candle holders)

I felt a sense of pride that my mom might be projecting to me, that I got to see more of the world than she did. 

How do you balance your job and your role as a mom?

#landofimpossiblebeginnings #visitgreece #visitpeloponnese

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